Everyone's looking for motivation and inspiration.

That's why most people fail when they try to lose weight.  If you don't believe me, ask yourself this question - How many pieces of unused exercise equipment do you have lying around your house or in storage?

Jennifer and I used to joke that we were going to open a museum that would house all the exercise equipment we (I) had bought and never used.  Said museum would also have a separate wing for diet plans, meal plans, cookbooks and other assorted weight loss strategies that had been purchased but never followed-through on.

According to Prevention Magazine, weight loss is a 154 billion dollar-a-year industry.  As one who has never given a dime to a televangelist but has made significant contributions to several fitness and weight loss gurus, I can tell you that this industry is driven by impulsive buying done by people feeling inspired and motivated (actually manipulated) just long enough to pick up the phone or go online to buy the next big thing.  Been there, done that.

I'd always start with the best of intentions and fall off the wagon not long thereafter because "I just didn't feel motivated any more."  I was really "inspired" when I ordered Body by Jake, The Total Gym, some ab machine I can't remember the name of and a whole room full of other fitness gadgets, but usually by the time the boxes arrived I just wasn't feelin' it any more.  UPS seemed to always show up just around the time I cracked open my third beer.  So I'd have a fourth to celebrate the arrival of my new toy.

I would have been better off sending my money to Benny Hinn.

All of which begs the question, "With such a long track record of failure, how did I manage to succeed this time?"

Toward the end of Lent this year, actually during Holy Week, (the week leading up to Easter) I began thinking seriously about extending my regimen beyond the forty days I'd originally committed to.  Actually, those sort of "what if" thoughts had been floating around in my brain for a few weeks but I just couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that I could/should keep going.

As I was driving home from my office one evening (I think it was Thursday) I was listening to the music of Keith Green, an incredibly gifted and passionate singer and songwriter who died in a plane crash nearly 25 years ago.  As I pulled into our driveway the song "Create in Me a Clean Heart" started. 

I hadn't heard that song in years - the spiritual passion in Keith's music was often too much of a reminder of how mine had died, so I would often go years at a time without listening to it.  But this time I sat there, unable to turn off the engine, listening to this song and feeling like I was getting ready to lose it.

Create in me a clean heart, Oh God; and renew a right spirit within me

Create in me a clean heart, Oh God; and renew a right spirit within me

Cast me not away from thy presence, Oh Lord; and take not thy Holy Spirit from me

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation and renew a right spirit within me

Keith wrote the music but the words for the song were actually written by David in Psalm 51:10-12.  They're David's words of repentance after committing adultery with Bathsheba and then having her husband Uriah, one of his most loyal followers, killed.

Repentance.  That's what has made the difference for me this time.  But repentance isn't groveling.  Remember the scene in Monty Python's The Holy Grail where God speaks from heaven and says, "Stop groveling!"  God isn't enamored of our groveling and he isn't a killjoy who delights in beating us up when we're wrong.

The writers of the New Testament used the word metanoia, which means to turn around or change your mind about something.  But not in the flippant way we change our minds in the drive-thru at Wendy's or change ISPs.

Metanoia is a sea change in thinking that leads to a revolution in our actions.  It’s a transformation that goes to the roots and then digs deeper.  It isn’t wiping the slate clean it’s getting a new slate.  It’s a grace-filled gift from God that we cannot manufacture by the force of our will.

Paul said it like this:

Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.

I was having a metanoia moment as my distress drove me to God.  I was being born again, again.  I must have sat there for several minutes with the car still running, deeply sobbing and repeating …..

Cast me not away from thy presence, Oh Lord; and take not thy Holy Spirit from me.  Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation and renew a right spirit within me.

Then I heard a knock on driver’s side window.  It was my 9-year old son Will.

“Dad, are you all right?”  “Are you coming in?”

Yeah, I was all right.  A lot more all right than I’d been in a long, long time.